A couples client I have (I'll call Mr. and Ms. Jones) gave permission for me to blog on some of their sex life coaching.
They both were interested in easier, more plentiful orgasms-per-sexytime for her, new positions and methods for female orgasm during intercourse, and oral sex skills for Ms. Jones to indulge Mr. Jones with.
In the consultation, they both admitted looking to porn for sex skill guidance and had little success in making the intensity of Mr. Jones' pleasure better, but did get better visuals from doing certain positions the stars did. That's what a porn director's real job is, I said. Getting a great shot with hotter visuals.
In ongoing sessions, I taught Ms. Jones how to do my oral sex skills which she practiced for real during her private time with her husband. They both agreed the pleasure levels and orgasm ease for him rose with each info set. Then we went into more advanced oral skills. That's when his orgasms came much faster. The lesson then was how to make him endure a high level of direct genital pleasure longer so that his orgasm would be even stronger. Then, how to handle that really big O without consciously or unconsciously pulling away from or stopping the stimulation when the orgasm was at its height.
You'd be surprised how often I teach big O endurance skills in my work. I can hand my clients the path to strong orgasms, but can they handle them? They slow or stop stimulation at the climax's apex because the pleasure is too strong. Doesn't make sense? The body and mind, unless otherwise conditioned, responds to intense pleasure almost the same way it does to intense discomfort. I also work with how to do just the right level of stimulation at apex to make sure the pleasure is at max, but discomfort doesn't creep in.
Some people naturally embrace big genital pleasures and have never shied away. Many of us do the opposite. Then there are possible mental issues surrounding indulging in genital pleasure to the fullest, etc. I coach on and help resolve negative mind clutter as well.
To complete the supra-blowjob experience for Mr. Jones, I taught his wife the things to say and do in addition before, during, and after. Plus, ways to bring his erection back for another sex round or never let it escape and thus, effectively eliminate his orgasm chances for a while so she could have a long intercourse segment with lots of vaginal stimulation to go with her quote, "now three or more and bigger" clitoral orgasms. Then one more orgasm for him at the end with the right buttons pushed.
So as you can see, sophisticated sex's erotic possibilities expand exponentially when you know how to do high-end stimulation (physical and mental) and also how to make smooth transitions from one sex act (or sex dish, as I call it) to the next. My version of spending a long time having sex isn't simply oral sex and then banging away with intercourse, it's taking the time to indulge in more things on your sex menu because you have more sex dishes to do and the know-how to string them all together.
Ms. and Mr. Jones came to me with the problem of having to spend all of their sex time trying to pull off one orgasm for each of them. After the coaching and practice mastering the skills, it's remembering to set a timer on their phone to let them know they are out of time and have to stop the amazing sex and orgasm machine that is their new sex life.