Eliminate Under-Utilization In Your Sex Life

Under-utilization in sex is a big problem my wife and I solve. There is much greater potential than our society is anywhere near understanding for sexual pleasure, orgasm, intimacy, touch, mental-sexy, and love that people never discover because society does not offer a resource to fill the ignorance gap.

Full-utilization is the foundation to a stunning romantic life; one better than what you can imagine because there is much more possible than what our culture, adult content, advice from friends, etc is able or willing to provide. Relationships with continuously improving sex lives don't peak in the early days and then slide down the satisfaction hill. The sex I'm having with my wife is better for both of us now than it was when we married in 2013.

A woman's sexual instrument, her body's capabilities, are the most under-utilized based on how great her capabilities truly are for giving and receiving sexual pleasure. This continues to be the biggest blind spot which is easily proven by going to any free adult vid site and watching how mainstream content (the people willing to get in front of a camera) still is: lots of display-of-hot-bodies, but barebones to basic pleasure skills when it comes to what I consider to be legitimate skill sets done to produce the best pleasure responses in women. It's impossible to say how many times I've seen an adult vid start something that's strong for her, and then suddenly quit doing it for no apparent reason, just to finish the usual ways with no orgasm for her. Women are multi-orgasmic and oddly, focused depictions of this are considered niche in the adult industry.

Like a violin is made for making music to stimulate the sense of hearing, a woman's sexual physiology and neurology is made for delighting the sense of touch and sensation. Fully-actualized, it is capable of tremendous pleasure because she has a variety of erogenous zones to master and at an advanced level: stimulating them in combination. Our sex life coaching reveals all the strings, the variations, chords, notes and harmonies. The female (and male) brain is capable of more elaborate and intense pleasures on the way to stronger and varied orgasms with those combinations.

A good metaphor for what I’m talking about is the first way you learn to play a string instrument, like the violin. Even before you learn to play any notes you have to learn how to hold the violin and the bow together, then the method of moving the bow over the strings to achieve a clear tone.

What I and my wife see, when it comes to judging the playing quality of a woman’s sexual instrument, is the many people are at best learning to hold the violin and move the bow, but press not more than one or two strings on the fret; or none at all. You can’t do what you don’t know is possible and these depictions prove ignorance, or worse, biases against the good stuff.

As anyone can hear from expert violin playing, there is much more a violin is capable of in the hands of those who care enough to learn to play all of the strings and hone their playing ability. No one who plays a violin skillfully under-utilizes it’s capabilities. A woman’s sexual instrument can be played in kind.

Under-utilization happens to men too, but their most often singular climax is baked-in. It also often defines the end of sex right when a woman's physical and mental arousal is getting started or is ready for ever greater sensations. As I've blogged on before, there are sex dishes that can't be served without enough quality stimulation and one or two orgasms for her. For example, the vagina opens out and engorges over time, the uterus changes position to allow easier access to stimulate deeper orgasm-inducive zones, and her breasts and nipples "get into it" over time so that if you time thorough breast stimulation combined with intercourse, she will be most often wowed by that combo later than sooner. While there are certainly women who would love this as a first dish, many prefer that dish served late.

Like I alluded to above, good timing in sex play is knowing that a vagina has different capabilities during different states of arousal. What's pleasurable or possible after she's several orgasms in isn't the same as before she's had her first. The more pleasure given, the more open and elongated the vagina becomes and the more fluffy and thick its walls. This sets the stage for specific forms of pleasure and intercourse that otherwise aren't pleasurable or possible, depending on the woman.

If sex never goes beyond a man's climax (and none or one orgasm for her,) she won't reach those later higher stages. How many couples have lived their entire sex lives with the basics or less? What does that do to their relationship over time? Also, the more quality sexual build-up a vagina, clitoris, and other erogenous zones are subjected to, the more pleasure is imparted to a penis due to that filled intravaginal erectile tissue. This isn't a one-way street.

This also gives a woman the conditions to keep the hot fun going and makes other pleasures like G-spot stimulation and orgasm easier to attain because her erectile tissue (G-spot included) is fully aroused and ready to be played to success. Did you know it takes more stimulation time, communication, and know-how to fully arouse the G-Spot, even when the woman has an erotic mental mindset, than it takes the penis and clitoris to be ready?

Don't stay forever in basics or intermediates done during a woman's starting arousal stage. Greater pleasures await with that extra time well-spent. And, don’t expect most adult video depictions to define what truly great sex is. My wife Kira and I are still waiting for what you can find in adult video to catch up to us with regards to female pleasure creation. I tell prospective clients all the time that you’ll learn things from us that you will never see depicted.

I, my wife, and my clients care about sex and value it greatly. Commitment to excellence is how we develop any passion in life be they hobbies, finances, or careers. Treat sex with equal interest because it is a miracle in real time. How often do we see dating and sex goals end at getting a woman to agree to sex with zero awareness or concern about quality? How do you get an invite back for more? This info is vital for a lifelong monogamous sex life.

Sex skills can be mastered. Even if you’re good at playing those first four notes on your metaphorical violin, there is so much more. It's not all about, "Everyone's different," or "It will be great when you find your soulmate." Those beliefs sometimes play a role, but most often they stand in as excuses for lack of effective information. The best won’t fall down out of the sky and into your laps.

You're going to be with a partner in a monogamous relationship a very long time. Get the skills that maximize your pleasure and orgasms together (there are ways to make the man's orgasm much stronger too). Sex life coaching ought to be a pre-req for adulthood because the adult sexual experience and romantic connection is such a huge factor that keeps adults happy, romantic year-on-end, and rejuvenated in the face of their stresses and challenges.

Make it all happen. Be counted among those who care deeply about sex.