The Three Forms of Trust Women Feel With Sex

I've found there are three forms of trust most women seek to establish with sex and their sexual partners. The first is their degree of trust in sex itself, the second is trust in their partner to care for their safety, and the third is trust in how consistently pleasurable/orgasmic sex with that partner is. The stronger her trust in these three categories, the more she will value her sex life, her partner, and her sexual pleasure. Also, when high levels of trust are present in all three, she will be able to reach greater levels of mental turn on that I call the Eros Zone.

The Eros Zone is a mental state or "being in the zone" where the sex is so good for her that she is in her most erotic mode with a partner, loses track of time, some memory of what she says and does, pleasures felt, or hot things done and willingness to do so. This fully sexual side of her doesn't appear outside the sex room, nor with just any partner. Its unfurling is the big reward for both she and her partner who decide to commit to a loving and erotic sex life.

Let's look at the check boxes that get her to the Eros Zone:

1.) Her trust level in sex as a whole before factoring in a partner. Has sex been a reason for living, or another problem/mystery? Is past sex and relationship trauma an issue? How are her communication skills and expectations? A common form of positive feedback I receive frequently from women clients is amazement that their bodies can do and feel much grander things than they ever thought possible after they learn from me. That's what happens when anxiety and the unknown are replaced by excitement and capability with good skills. Is she orgasmic? If so, how orgasmic? How virtuosic can she play her sexual instrument solo and partnered? Once a woman has a strong knowledge of and success with her sexual system, she can move on to learning about a partner's, and inform a partner more effectively about what works for her.

2.) Next, a woman's trust in her sex partner's capability to care about her physical and mental safety as much as their own. Does he or she care about condom use and STI's? Is he a gentleman and as such, honors her, or is he there for himself and on the side brags or shows pics to friends when she didn't authorize it? Is he careful with his sex technique? Is he turned on by her being turned on and loving it all, or does he do or say things during sex play she wishes he wouldn't? Do they work as a team to get the most out of their pleasures and orgasms? Does her partner have a warm, considerate heart, or does he slam his dick into her cervix too hard? It's impossible for her to reach the Eros Zone when her defenses are up, no matter how handsome and virile he may be. The pinnacle of this form of trust means she can relax and enjoy the ride; her defenses are unnecessary, and she can focus only on how amazing everything is and on making it better.

3.) Lastly, trust in her partner's sexual skills. She may trust in sex, may trust in her partner's safety, but what about their sexual pleasure skills? Many men (it used to be all) believe it just has to do with their penis size, hardness, how long they last, and how well they can keep thrusting without popping out. The male erectile industry is founded on making wood, but narry a hint on what to do with it or anything else. As Madonna once sung, can he make a fire without using wood? Does he understand her entire sexual anatomy and is he interested in her feedback on how he plays it? Can he integrate his cock's role simultaneously with other pleasure tools? How much does he value getting her specifics right? Some men can be told what to do in the bedroom and even if they succeed once will forget what to do every time they lay down together; opting to go on automatic. This trust is solid with a man who values her orgasms, size of their sex menu, and is turned on to her authentic turn-on.

This reminds me of male fantasies of women who will do anything (legal) with them in bed. There's a song by Journey called "Any Way You Want It." I heard that when I was a teenager, but for whatever reason, it also occurred to me to wonder what would make a woman say, "Do anything you want to me." What would make her feel that way for real? She has to be attracted of course but also be consistently building trust over a longer period of time than your first sex date or wedding night. That's one of the silver linings of monogamy: you have one sex partner, so everything you do is invested in one love. Two people can go farther in quality with that singular commitment... if you both value that coming to pass.

Couples and individuals who value highly pleasurable, cooperative, mutual multi-orgasmic sex lives make the Eros Zone a common occurrence. This is a crucial piece to maintaining erotic marriages and long-term romantic partnerships.