Great Sex For Another Marriage: Inga And Rich's Guided Session Story

Inga and Rich (names changed) contacted me ready to do my Guided Session sex life coaching option. They were given a strong recommendation by Inga's sister, who did her own Guided Session with her partner at the time in years past. They thought about doing my Talk Sessions, but Inga's sister said no, do the Guided, it's so good. Here is Inga's testimonial sent after they completed their Guided Session package over the course of a weekend:

"My husband and I recently participated in a series of guided, in-person sessions with Eric, and it was truly one of the best investments we could have made for our marriage. Eric thoroughly explained brand new things, best approaches, and how-to's that helped us move to the next level in sex and intimacy in our relationship. During the sessions, we learned effective techniques and ways to communicate our needs, as well as how to introduce new ideas into our relationship that have brought a renewed sense of closeness and trust. The experience proved to us how important it is to intentionally invest time and effort into our monogamous sex life. Before this experience, my understanding of sexual pleasure and orgasm was very different, and through Eric's guidance, I discovered new levels of confidence, comfort, and fulfillment. The growth we experienced together has been incredible. We are so grateful for this experience and truly believe it has strengthened our marriage and deepened our bond. Thank you, Eric, for helping us take this meaningful step forward in our relationship."

I thanked Inga for the wonderful feedback and asked if I could blog on some of the sexual skills and goals they worked on or accomplished. She agreed, so let's get started:

Inga and Rich came to me as many of my clients do: already having cohesive intercourse and oral sex skills that were pleasurable in the typical ways, but not orgasmic for her. Rich didn't need help on intercourse performance and wasn't a sexual beginner as many assume my clients are. Most of my coaching builds clients up from what I would call intermediate sex skills that we see play out on most adult video or Hollywood/HBO movies and series, but absent female orgasms or limited orgasmic frequency and ease for women.

Rich is a man who is into sex on a basic level the same way I am: he loves to see, feel, hear, and be a part of his wife's highest level of sexual enjoyment for his erotic satisfaction, but also wants sex and orgasms to be just as great for her or even more so. Rich and I also share that spark of wondering if there is more to it than what is commonly understood even among people who presume they have their proverbial sex black belt. Rich was enthusiastic and ready to rock at the start. Inga wanted all that and was impressed by her sister's great Guided Session story, but felt some normal trepidation.

We started with sensual massage done by Rich, per my instruction, and guided breathing that I led. This teaches how to do a sexy massage as well as melt any ice clinging to Inga. Then we did vulva and clitoral massage and instruction before moving on to erotic massage combined with slow vaginal intercourse: keeping his hands engaged doing specific hot or sensual stuff on her body and/or clitoris while he kept his erection working inside her. It was a new skill set for Rich to keep his erection and with it his slow-moving pelvis doing a good job with penetration plus making sure his hands were doing something equally great because he'd always gone the typical route of going from first base, second, third, and finally home plate with manly intercourse with hands doing a good job of grounding Inga, but not adding extra service. I can't tell you how many times I've seen adult vid sex scenes where it looks like the guy is going to impressively use hands and cock as one, but then goes back to just thrusting. It's similar to playing a keyboard instrument. Can you play with both hands?

As everyone knows, orgasm-inducing genital pleasure is baked-in to intercourse for men, so we went slow with that while keeping his hands and cock serving her pleasure (he was liking that combo too). Whether it was pumping inside her plus a long slow back rub, or with an oiled breasts or inner things massage. Then after she was very happy and got that, Inga added her own clitoral stimulation of her choosing. Thus creating three harmonizing sensations for her, not just pleasurable vaginal intercourse alone. It was new for Rich to link three elements and keep them going continuously, but he could see how much more positively Inga was responding to how good it all felt to her, which he got to watch in real time. I'll never forget when Rich whispered to me (so as not to disturb Inga in the zone) "I've never seen her like this!" At that particular moment, Inga was groaning deeply, thighs wide open, and consumed by the combo of perfect clitoral and G-spot stimulation before having her first G-Spot orgasm combined with what may have also been an overlapping clitoral orgasm.

Other lessons were:

Inga doing her own clitoral stimulation effectively while Rich piloted everything else that she couldn't. The successful blending of quality erotic breast/nipple stimulation plus direct, multi-facteted genital pleasure for her which taught her to focus on feeling everything as a totality of erotic sensation, which switched on her brain's ability to register her breast stimulation as hot for her vs neutral, taking breast love out of the, "I'm glad he likes them" zone.

Some women somehow start their sex lives aroused by breast and nipple play but I would say most do not and need to devote practice to awaken that skill to the extent they can. Nipples have direct neurological connection to the clitoris or in a man's case, his glans penis. Most often, men will play with breasts as foreplay and then abandon them largely for when intercourse is on the table in a big way. Rich learned how hot it was and how much it increased his resulting orgasm inside Inga when he kept that quality breast play going in some form, plus how hot it was to hear and see her erotic vocal expressions from vagina, clitoris, and breasts all in concert together, sometimes all the way to her big O.

Inga also learned how to be erotically vocal during sex too. She was forty and for all the sex she'd had before that weekend, she'd been quiet to somewhat expressive. I gave her some tips to help that aside from better pleasure methods. I reminded her when needed during her sex play to use the new sounds skills, and she learned that sounding out during sex is about making hot sounds to celebrate the enormity of the pleasure and if it's intense enough, to help endure it; very similar to the reason people yell without thinking about it on a roller coaster.

When she was encouraged to make hot sound when it felt amazing, her self-consciousness gradually evaporated. Inga went through a moment where Rich was going down on her clitoris and doing G-spot stim with one hand while she was massaging her breasts with both hands. I could see her self-censorship of her sex sounds, and I said, "I'll bet you're feeling the need to make sound. If you do, your mind will get into what's physically happening more because your ears will hear the erotic sound of your own voice, and make it all the more intense." Inga let go and she nodded agreement with my lesson.

Earlier I said she was groaning deeply from G-spot and clitoral stimulation. Inga was in a mental zone then where her self-consciousness didn't exist. After she had her huge orgasm, and came back to us, I asked her if she was in her usual frame of mind when she was groaning and if she remembered it. She wasn't sure. Women have mindsets under extreme pleasure and orgasm that I've not seen men exhibit and report difficulty remembering them, where men don't experience that memory loss.

Another great moment I noted to Rich at one point was how gorgeous her face looked in the midst of ecstacy, or during orgasmic afterglow. He agreed and was dazzled too. It's a facial beauty that a woman can't produce unless she's in that zone or knows it well enough to act it out. I had given her some coaching that caused her face (and mind) to let go and be fully expressive of what she was feeling. One key tip, ladies: relax your jaw and know you will be even more gorgeous than you already are.

Inga learned details of clitoral stimulation that she never knew before. How to play that all-important instrument and have it played. As my late mentor, Betty Dodson used to teach, how to identify then ride a pleasure wave from her clit play as far as it would take her before needing to adjust it somewhat, or score another clitoral orgasm. Then, learning about how to manage her hypersensitivity coming off the end of a clit boom. Then, how she can keep loving vaginal-based pleasures still going on while her clitoris rested... then possibly bringing it back into play after its short rest to rejoin its pleasure with her G-Spot's, intercourse, or other intravaginal erogenous zone(s) she never knew she had.

Most men have never felt what an extra-aroused vagina feels like around their penis because they get through maybe one orgasm for her and him, then they're both done. That's logical, but it's also just when her vagina's excitement, shown via erectile engorgement and lubricity, is often just getting started. This is also the timing for when faster, deep penetration is most pleasurable for that vagina (depending on penis and vaginal length) than in the early stage because vaginal elongation due to the uterus lifting has hopefully occurred, and the more orgasms she has, the more help that uterine lifting process gets (plus ovulation timing). As an aside, this is one reason I prefer another form of contraception over birth control pills. If ovulation is prevented, it reportedly robs her of that in-the-mood desire she often gets at that time and thus, makes it harder for her full physical sexual capability to blossom.

We stopped for water, some wine, and snacks, but the three of us accomplished a lot in ten total hours of coaching time, and Inga went at the beginning from butterflies in her tummy to, "Wow... What's next?" She was amazed at what her now multi-orgasmic, strongly-climaxing, and into-sex-mind can do that she never knew possible when a concert of consistent, high-quality, sexual pleasure skills and know-how is bestowed upon her. As I've said in my FAQ page, I do -not- sexually stimulate clients. I only coach on what to do, what to fix, or don't stop doing, plus answer questions and give verbal reminders and cues in the moment. That's another strong point of Guided Sessions. I do the same for my Talk Sessions of course if clients practice skills on a toy while I make sure their skills stay on track, but you have to go off to practice and then report back when it comes to having actual sex, saving all your questions till then.

Rich now gets how to be Inga's sex coach in real time while also being in the unique position to able to have sex with her. He can verbally keep her focused on her pleasures which is more manly action from him while keeping a woman steaming toward her next orgasm, or loving the big-time pleasure she's feeling in the moment. The feedback I've gotten from women clients and sex partners throughout my life is they all Now, Inga and Rich fully understand the necessity for high-end skills if you want to attain goals I hear talked about a lot out there: How to get women to feel more desire for sex? How do we increase libido in women?

Assuming female orgasm gets brought up, how to make them happen bigger, easier, and more often? What pill does she need to take or can possibly be made for her to enjoy sex more (and how does Big Pharma define that?) While there are effective natural testosterone-increasing supplements and low dose-ED meds that do improve female erectile tissue and lubrication response (which is great and another story), there is nothing else, and will never be anything else (without risk of side effects) that will do all those things but top-flight sexual skills played well all over her sexual instrument. As my mentor Betty Dodson used to say, what new skills do all these men with erection pills have now that their penises work again? Rich and Inga were wise. Inga stepped fully into her birthright: she at forty is a sexual race car in all the joyous, healthy, and legit ways. No more white lies and believing in illusion in her sex life. Next, she wants to learn to drive his car and is more motivated to do so after Rich drove her wild with their new skills.