Better Ways Women Can Get Turned On Faster

I coach clients on mental as well as physical practices to improve sex, and one of the most useful is how to speed up and/or intensify the "getting turned on" process to use while physical pleasure is given/received.

Before I continue, I want to repost here my 2019 blog titled, Vaginal Orgasm, the G-Spot, and Why I Turned My Back On Academic Creds. I revised it a bit decided to republish after receiving several questions from clients or first time inquiries on everything the title advertises. It's me critiquing the conclusions published by some academics which deserved my perspective, and would clarify why I knew I wouldn't get what I wanted for my own sex life, nor thoroughly serve future clients, if I went the academic route. I instead chose to learn from the world's first self-styled sex coach, the late Betty Dodson, Ph.D.

Back to today's blog, the key piece of coaching is this: women can't always expect to get turned on consistently by a partner, even when the partner is sexy, by always starting from a passive, neutral mental point of view that expects that partner to turn them on while they wait passively for that to happen. Many women with good sex lives can still have issues with generating mental arousal (which leads to physical arousal) and will get in a logical habit of expecting their partner to "do them". While this is certainly possible, in a life with distractions and stresses, a woman who intentionally engages her mind to focus directly on and want to mentally step into her erotic mental mode will get there much quicker, particularly in combo with her partner's sensual input.

She may have experienced her partner launching into erotic mode all over her, but if she's decompressing from the rat race, she may fall behind. Here's a few steps she can take to keep up:

1.) Want to get turned on. Hold an intention to do so in your mind. If you are getting an erotic massage, desire a state of "turned on" while simultaneously focusing on the erotic/relaxing touch. If he's moving too slow, tell him what you want to feel now or in other words, what you're ready for. Say it in a hot tone of voice. Say inside your mind and maybe audibly too that you want to get turned on, and then what you want to feel. Craft your initial turn on time as deliberately as when the multi-pleasure intercourse you love has begun. Immerse your focus on what your sense of touch is giving you. Nothing else.

2.) Imagine how an orgasm feels. Want to climax. Fantasize while getting your warm up about what you are going to be doing when the appetizer portion is over. Make requests of sex dishes if you have them and get started on your run to third base. Hold the intention to have a huge orgasm from your skills and your partner's. When your sex skills get advanced, looking forward to what is in store for you is much easier and makes a relationship dynamic where you fantasize about each other. When was the last time you fantasized about your partner? I know from first hand experience that the better you both are at sex, the more naturally and unavoidable that becomes. I have clients tell me how delightful it is to be back fantasizing about their partners after years of marriage and parenting.

3.) One physical tip, women go into erotic mode easier when they relax the jaw and allow their lips to part, just a bit. Self-reflect and see if you are unknowingly keeping your lips closed. It's profound how this facial expression change is from a controlled one to a one that is all about how much you love how everything feels. Again, delve your focus and your mind into how great it feels and if your eyes aren't closed, looks like. Strongly appreciate this moment.

I'm writing this advice with the presumption that what she's feeling is worth her time. That her partner can play her instrument to her applause. How to do that well is also what sex life coaching does.