I decided to write this blog as an elaboration to my About Me page. I've spent more time than I was expecting answering recurring questions from people that boil down to: "Why is your coaching superior? Why is yours the best way to making people's dreams come true?"
The majority of us live underdeveloped sex lives mostly because we live in a culture that mishandles sex in a variety of ways. Women's sexual pleasure and orgasm capability has improved since I began my work, but there are more intense pleasure methods possible, and combinations thereof, than you'll be able to learn relying on pop culture, academic/psychology sex advice, and trial and error. The majority of straight men are still too hooked into traditional locker room ideology, which is robbing them and the women in their lives from having their best sex. Traditional female/romantic ideology puts up different barriers simultaneously.
The first thing I did when setting the course for my own sex life in the mid-nineties was to remove from my concern almost everything from conventional feminine and masculine ideology/conditioning, pop cultural group think, and anti-sex special interest groups; they were not sources that could take me where I wanted to go. I observed the world around me to see how successful they were with having great sex and decided to not follow along.
The second thing was to open my mind to get the knowledge that would get me to my best physical sex skills, mental modes, and understanding of sexual neurology. I started that process in approximately 1994. Today, I can say with full confidence that I made the right decision because I possess a sex life of far greater quality than I could imagine then-- for myself and my partner. I kept my eye on the prize and won it.
I saw an untapped need for advancing people beyond what academic sex therapy modalities are capable of delivering. I knew that at the end of the day, people go farther when they prioritize their dreams over how conventionally they get there-- particularly when conventional paths fall so far short.
I can coach any client on any level: nervous novices who learn the first steps on up to advanced virtuosos who can interweave sexual pleasures. Why do you need interwoven skills and combos? Firstly, I assume you want the most pleasure you can get out of sex and your orgasms, and secondly, when you blend the right pleasure with another, you get a pleasure mix that often feels even better than either element in isolation. Plus, sometimes one form of stimulation will feel mildly erotic or just so-so by itself, but when combined with another more intense pleasure, the lesser sensation will become more pleasurable. Dynamics like these are a big part of the art form that is sophisticated sexual pleasure. It is the music of the sense of touch.
When I use the word greatness in a sentence, it defines that which is a pinnacle of quality in whatever mode: cuisine, athleticism, business, art, and in this case, sexual pleasure. I'm confident in saying that sex therapists with academic training cannot grant clients virtuosic sexual skills. Conventionally-trained sex therapists are trained with a limited knowledge base that is much more about mental principles than physical or neurological. I've never heard of or seen in post-graduate texts for psychology-based sex therapists anything on what I wrote about pleasure combining. Without a deep understanding of physical pleasure, you cannot possibly take a client to their heights. They can be good at resolving or improving mental blocks, sex phobias, and basic sexual skills.
My clients want greatness in their sex lives and their orgasms. They want it much faster than it took me to get it. They hire me to bring this into being. It also depends on how much commitment and determination a client has to the process. How strong are they? Are they fed up enough with all the frustration or boredom they feel? That sex is overrated. Do they have the heart to push out of their minds or lives what holds them back? Reinforcing a client, keeping them going, along the way is the other part of being a sex life coach beyond instruction.