I had a consultation call where my prospective client admired me for my complete freedom from embarrassment when discussing sex, and that was a big relief for her to find. I mentioned several things about how my past embarrassment of sex disappeared:
1.) Once people have quality, delicious food, most want more and value it. This was one of the first things that helped form the basis of comfort with my sex life. When it felt good or amazing to both me and the women I shared it with, that did away with a lot of insecurity. The proof-positive of the high-quality pleasure meant that my sex life became valued and a priority. Once that was established, embarrassment over something I value didn't make sense anymore. If other people publicly derided sex, that was their mistake, not mine. Their views could no longer influence me.
2.) Knowledge is power, but so is being calm and together. The more I learned and discovered about sex's details and nuances, the more I became excited about it as an art form unto itself. That excitement to keep going and confidence from success makes a strong, positive feeling and does a lot to eliminate sexual anxiety. As far as calm and collected goes, in social conversations, I was able to contribute usable info while also being immune to negative responses due to what I knew sex really could be. We all know how people commonly betray their ignorance in the form of derisive commentary.
3.) The interest in helping and exchanging info gave me a practical goal and motivation to approach sexual subject matter with an eye toward truth-seeking and caring about sex. Caring for everything it can do for us, caring for its importance and excitement in your life, and caring about its continued growth. I left behind the old ways of framing sexuality in my mind. The embarrassment triggers could no longer exist. My list of priorities changed along with the loss of embarrassment. I decided I would have the real thing free from self-delusion.
4.) Not wanting to "be the weird one" is a point of embarrassment during the act or in conversation for many of us. The former can be swept away by knowing what things you want in your sex life. If that doesn't fit for possible romantic partners you come in contact with, then conclude the evening and move on. Otherwise, move politely to the next subject. However, don't take rudeness and attack from others. Find someone who clicks with you or wants to learn how to. That's an important concept. You probably can't wait for the perfect one whose mind is like yours. One should also look to the option of showing (or telling) a new interested party what you can bring to the bedroom, and if they like it and want more, you found a diamond in the rough. When you visualize what you want, which is the most practical form of optimism, and then put events into action to meet that person, it will have been all worthwhile. Walk off into the sunset with them, which means the rest of the world is welcome to keep fcuking it up, but you got yours.
5.) My last point is about how society and home life often overlay negative sex messages (don't talk about it, don't try to improve bc it hurts your partner's feelings) onto how you see the world from the beginning. Then when you start a sexual relationship, all those years conditioned you into a sex mishandler. The years did the same to your partner most likely, so now it's double. Let's be generous to our culture and upbringing and write it all off as negative reinforcement to prevent things like unwanted pregnancies and STD's. However, when the day comes that it's time to have sex, you must make the decision to cut your ties to all that (past and present) and fly with great sex skills info and a vision of how incredibly yummy it can be. The scissors you'll use to snip and fly is the day you've had enough of all the crap.