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Great Sex Makes Us Want Our Partners (and sex) Even More

A great side effect of incredible sex is the red-colored glasses effect, as I call it. A subtle erotic-based excitement to see them and be with your partner and a can't wait to do that high-quality sex again.

You'll feel this when you see them naked during non-sex times like getting ready for work or showering and women who have ready access to great sex with plenty of orgasms for her will have a concrete reason to want to have sex more often which adds more urgency and need along with their natural sex drive. You don't get consistently strong sexual desire in women unless there's good pleasure payoff. It's not all about biochem-based desire like the scientists like to spout on their quest for the female desire pill.

I've said it before and I'll never stop saying it: it's one thing to have someone with a body that is attractive to you. It's a double-down on desire when you know that body has sexual skills too; can make you orgasm several times, or do exotic sexual acts that you can't find with just anyone out there. Even if you aren't smoking yet, you'd be amazed at the power of great sex to cause the person you're doing it with to be blind to imperfections. Who cares about a little extra cellulite or no washboard abs when you can make them come that hard and how many different times and ways? Or, what would sex be like if you had the hot body and they had skills?

We see articles out all the time about how to see your partner in that early-relationship way again, or at least in a more romantic way. In my experience, there's no more effective way to see your partner romantically than by knowing you're good at sex with each other. Having can't-wait-to-do-it-again, erotic, orgasmic sex with a person is one of the obvious cornerstones of a relationship that would fit into the romantic category, but our culture tends to steer us away from valuing high-quality sex.

In my world, you can't have a real red-colored glasses romantic relationship without hot sex. You can't drive a car with no engine. Yes, you can have it in your collector's garage, look at it, and imagine driving it, but you aren't driving it. In other words, you're getting only a partial benefit.

I've had clients who have smoking hot spouses and partners and never to barely physically enjoy that body and beauty out of sex fears from the culture, upbringing, or sex skills issues, or they get into ruts and too used to what they always do in bed. I say to clients, to shake them out of fear and ruts, "Oh, so you're immortal and you're going to get to have great sex in say, 1,500 years from now, if you're in the mood or are tired of living in fear by then?" Or, I'll ask him to imagine his gorgeous-faced partner's expression while having a big orgasm.

The one passage I read over and over in sex self-help books in my teens was people who were quoted by the author saying, as they say to me now, "I wish I would have known/had access to this 15+ years ago!" Don't wish you could go back in time years from now. Start your coaching sessions today and then you can go out and get a boss pair of red-colored glasses to commemorate the day you woke up feeling that way about your honey (and sex) every day.

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