Wife Vs Mistress: The Age-Old Problem


wife and mistressThe wife versus the mistress is an ancient issue. However, it’s 2014 and sex life coaching is here to make your sex life a lot better than it already is and creating real-world reasons for sticking with monogamy when that’s your desire.

It’s true that there are no guarantees in life when it comes to fidelity. However, a couple can do a lot to dramatically increase their chances of staying true to each other.

One of the biggest advantages that a mistress or high-end call girl very often has over a wife is sexual skills and a sex positive outlook. Many women get married without any sexual know-how for romantic and/or financial reasons. Real-world marriages need more than love, affection, and stale to non-existent sex to maintain monogamy. Romantic ideals are not enough by a long shot. The decision to remain monogamous is made and reinforced by real-world practicality first, idealism and rule-following second.

I was just discussing this with a new client. She began her coaching interested in building some specific sexual skills for some new hotness in the bedroom with her husband, but also she understood that “the other woman” is often better in bed than the wife because she’s spent time strengthening skills like oral and manual sex, skillful intercourse, more exotic sexual dishes, and a sex-loving mindset. My sex life coaching isn’t only about man-pleasing. Learning new sexual skills greatly benefits women as well– often more-so.

Then there’s the belief that, “All men cheat.” This isn’t true. Many men cheat and many women cheat too but most often for the same reason: lack of fulfillment in the bedroom. There was a survey conducted once by psychologists that asked men who they’d rather have the hottest sex with and who do they want to do the hot stuff to. Most of them said their wives. The data pointed to how the majority of those polled would rather have the woman they’re in love with also be their best sex partner. Most of the men don’t want to cheat, but the depressing circumstances they are faced with make infidelity a foregone conclusion.

Further, that combination of partner you’re in love with plus red hot or tender sex is described by most men as ideal. Testosterone is a powerful thing. Men as a gender have stronger sex drives as compared to most women, but women who are gifted with powerful sexual appetites can find themselves in exactly the same circumstances.

As I’ve written about before, the advantage to your spouse being your source of hot sex is you have the time and opportunity to develop your skills over the years. Mistresses and lovers will often want what works because they aren’t available to have sex as often. That can get boring eventually too. The steady development of new sexual experiences and dishes, as I call them, is perfect between a husband and wife or long-term boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I once had a young woman tell me she would be less interested in developing a better sex life with a partner unless she was monogamous with him. Her reason was,

“Why devote that time and focus for him to disappear at any time?”

There’s truth to that. Before I was married, I had lovers who I developed a shared sex life together and I saw that very consistently a sex life that gets better over time is a strong thing to share with someone and keeps that relationship valued.

Another reason wives are at a disadvantage is the stress and responsibilities of motherhood and/or demanding careers will sap even more sexual interest from you especially when there isn’t a strong sexual capability set shared by a couple. If you can’t say pretty consistently after having sex with your partner, “Wow, we’re good at this,” then your understanding of how to create your best sex could be even better than you think it already is.

It’s that appreciation of someone with whom you can have amazing sex (as you know it at that time) that is perhaps the biggest practical reason why your romantic feelings are maintained. This is a major reason why men divorce wives for long-term mistresses and lovers. They have a connection that is romantically stronger than what they have with their wives. In the old days, this was how the world worked most often. Mistresses (and studly gardeners) were a given. We no longer live in those times, but the same relational forces exist today.

Back to the survey results, one thing the majority of men said is most don’t want the pressure of a double life with another woman. They also don’t want the pressure of possible sexually-transmitted disease and then passing it on to their wives. It’s true that there are men who don’t feel this way at all. Quite the opposite. Sex life coaching can’t change that perspective easily. However, for all the men who don’t have that outlook, imagine how much infidelity could be prevented and great sex lives created simultaneously.

My wife was telling people last night over dinner about how she loves to hear about the couples I work with who are moving further apart sexually or at the brink of moving on turn things around because the coaching gives them the tools they need to be sexually sophisticated. This means they have bigger orgasms. Easier ones. More consistent ones. Their best kissing and turn-on time. Things feel better and are more exciting. Imagine what that would be like and be with your partner in life. This is what my work does. The problem that it solves has been an epidemic for centuries, but now we have a way to beat it that people weren’t aware of in the same way.

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