Just Married, Sexual Superpowers, and Learning To Not Stop

The Sex Life Coach is married.

I tied the knot. Eric Amaranth is now a married man. Happily as well. My wife appreciates my capability to do multiple forms of sexual stimulation to her simultaneously and successfully. The more that’s going on, the better and the easier for her to orgasm(s). Combos of everything from physical stim to mental and verbal stim. She didn’t have to practice to develop this ability. However, when we met, she had no idea her body and neurology favored this because it had never been done to her before. It was there waiting to be uncovered. Or… to stay hidden permanently like forgotten buried treasure.

This is what I call a sexual superpower. Something that is innate and works the first time you try it. You don’t know how it got there. You were born with it and it allows something to happen very easily and/or dramatically during some form of sexplay. Another example of a superpower is not having a gag reflex, or a very mild one. People with this perform deep throat the easiest. Another one is a person who has naturally erotically sensitive nipples/breasts that can be stimulated to create major physical arousal very quickly and effectively and sometimes trigger a bigger genital-based orgasm with or in rare cases without combined genital stimulation.

Another category of superpower is having a characteristic that may be a disadvantage for one thing but a boon for another. One of the classic examples of this is a long penis. Not every woman likes one so long and knows how to take advantage of length. If that guy meets a woman with a naturally deep vagina (yes, vagina comes in different sizes too) then the two are a good match in their eyes. While we’re on the genital size topic, naturally wide vagina makes it easy to get into vaginal fisting particularly when she’s heterosexual. Men’s hands are, as we all know, bigger than women’s which can prevent the majority of straight couples from going there or getting there easily. A free suggestion I have for women who want the ultimate in size and fullness, plus the dexterity of a hand for even more pleasures, is to start with vaginal intercourse with clitoral stimulation. Have an orgasm from that, then go for the hand. There are specifics to learning how to vaginally fist, so don’t try it (wide vagina or not) unless you know what you’re doing.

One of the most common secondary superpowers is a very sensitive clitoris which coincidentally is good at orgasming from friction of the pubic bone area against it when she’s on top or when the person doing the fucking is and knows how to rub consistently against her clit while pumping inside her vagina with penis/dildo. This is perhaps the most commonly mistaken form of “vaginal orgasm”. Women have reported orgasming during intercourse in positions like these and sometimes aren’t aware that the clitoris is getting its lovin’ and logically assume it was a vaginal-based orgasm. Some would question why it matters. Why is it so important to understand where the orgasm is triggered from? It’s vital to know the source firstly to eliminate confusion when the woman reports to others that she can “come from fucking”, but unbeknownst to her, the women in her audience don’t have as sensitive a clitoris as her’s. Frictioning against a body may feel good, but it’s simply not enough to build and trigger an orgasm. Worse than that though is the culture is so hell-bent, for many reasons, on producing a “vaginal orgasm” that nowhere in her statement to the audience was the clitoris mentioned, so the listeners quite logically assume from the context that a penis/dildo moving in and out of vagina is all she needs. Not true! But that’s what’s heard and then people think she’s a liar or feel discouraged that their vaginas can’t do the same thing.

The more specific we are about where the different forms of female orgasm are triggered, the more we can do with the sex we’re having and the better our information to others. Needless to say, women can be sexual braggarts just like men, but for different things. Men boast about making her come with just his almighty penis. Rawr, /flex, etc. Women boast to their friends (and maybe the men they’re about to have sex with) in a more under the table sort of way that they can have “vaginal orgasms” knowing that those around them cannot. It’s time to end the misunderstandings, the hurt feelings, and the envy. I’d understand those unfortunates if the knowledge wasn’t available in this day and age, but it is.

Instead of treating successful sex as another bragging rights point, which is destructive and dark aged, we as a group must press for a cultural reality that wants to help each other to have the best sexual connections possible. If for no other reason than to forward an agenda to keep more romantic relationships together and working well. No, this ideal won’t be embraced by everyone. However, if just 20% of us all changed our treatment of others and valued accuracy in sexual knowledge, our adult world would change for the better. You would see the change in the media and roundtable discussions of sex. On a related topic, this blanket acceptance and sometimes belligerent reinforcement of vague understandings of female sexuality has been adopted by the larger portion of the sexology and psychology community within the past five to seven years. Back in Masters and Johnson’s and Kinsey’s day, (and when I went into this field) the designations of clitoral vs vaginal vs g spot etc. orgasm were valued. Now, due to pressure from well-meaning sources, they have done away with specificity and are telling people that it doesn’t matter where the female orgasm comes from. Their answer is something to the effect of, “There are many interminglings of nerves and zones within the female sexual anatomy and it’s so varied that we can’t ever be sure. And, we can’t hurt some women’s feelings, or sound like we’re pressuring people to get better at sex.”

Of all things on the planet that humans undertake, sex, in these people’s eyes, is the one thing that isn’t P.C. to get better at. Everyone is entitled to their treatment of their sex life. However, it’s the first time I’ve seen a scientific community retrograde in its demand for more specific data because of lack of accurate data and wanting to be politically correct. To not offend certain women or male ego, for that matter. I say no to that treatment of female sexuality. It deserves better and what I have discovered and improved in terms of advancing female human sexual response would never have been possible without specificity. Both I and my clients can create more sexual dishes for the women in our lives by knowing more than by being vague.

Now, about that other topic: learning to not stop. What I mean by that is when a woman starts her sex life with the pattern that sextime is over when she comes once. Often this is reinforced in heterosexual sex by the fact that he has already had his orgasm and now it’s time to snuggle– every time. Nothing wrong with that, but there can be more. One of my sex life coaching clients brought it up as one of he and his wife’s successes that she, on her own, picked up a sex toy (that I suggested they get to facilitate a more powerful clitoral orgasm when comboed with clit stim) and started using it. She wanted her husband to watch her and make his penis rise sooner to get back inside her for more fucking combined -with- the toy’s pleasures. She had a big clitoral orgasm from the toy working one zone inside her vagina while her fingers slipped and slid over her clitoris which had already come once during their first round of intercourse. She was going to come a third time with her husband’s hard cock making its presence known, plus the toy inside with it, plus his fingers on her clitoris too. This woman learned what was possible with her body and she wanted it– wanted it all.

This is an example of what I’m talking about when I say greater sexual sophistication. It seems so simple to some women who at some point in their lives realize they can keep going and do so. Not everyone sees or feels that possibility due to attention or they try it one particular way and it doesn’t work, so doing more gets written off in every respect. Our culture at large doesn’t give us messages along the way that we could find another way to do this or the searchings are attacked. That path then is never sought. The time has come, like I said before, for more. As adults in our time, we are ready.

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