Which Are More Important: Sexual Acts or Romantic Gestures?
Eric Amaranth comments on which is more important to a great relationship: Quality Sexual Acts or Romantic Gestures.
I was given a questionnaire by a reporter recently and one of the questions was a really good one, which I based the title of this blog post on. In my professional opinion, quality sexual acts outweigh romantic gestures. Here are two stories explaining why:
When I was in my teens, sending love/adoration poems and flowers in creative ways was fun and the girls in my life did like those things. However, my sex life began and I was had already taken on an intention to create sexual enjoyment for my girlfriend in a big way. The wow factor and appreciation that she felt for me was ten-fold over what it was for my poems and flowers; which she did love, but not nearly as much as she did before she had big orgasms during hot sex. The enormity of those erotic sensations trumped FTD and Shelley-inspired writings.
Romantic gestures became the icing on the rich moist cake that was our sex life together. That said, she and I both let go of a great deal of our attachment and reliance on those gestures because the power of the sex was so much more profound and bonding. The women in my future would all echo to the affirmative.
The second anecdote I have is about eight years ago, a friend of mine in my teenage years contacted me out of the blue. He took issue with the fact that I had changed my perspective from poetry and flower-giving to an emphasis on being able to bring the sex skills home to the bedroom. I explained to him in reply email my perspective.
Anyway, I have found per my present relationship that when the sex is great, that will sometimes inspire each other to produce more of those romantic gestures because of the appreciation they feel for each other. That said, the gestures are not relied on. Adding a small heart-shaped box of quality chocolates to eat before and after said amazing sex is a bonus, but that’s the appetizer or dessert and not the main course. More romantic verbal compliments happen with a happy sex life, without a doubt.
Right now, more people are doing as I did years ago. They’re wondering if there is more to romance than these gestures: cards, jewelry, flowers, chocolates, dinners out. This is, by the way, part of the reason why I decided to become a sex life coach. To come back from my training and exploration to provide a faster path to those who want something even more powerful than the flowers and tennis bracelets. The most important thing is to move up to the level on the mountain where you can see the larger view of incorporating stellar sex in with your romantic gestures. Have both! Then see where your quality of life and love life will be.